The Dillard Doctrine

Urban Conservative Commentary on Politics & Life

In Closing

Oddly enough, it took this year for me to realize that ALL my year-end posts were entitled “In Closing.”

2010. I can’t say I’d rather forget it, because I’ve learned more this year than in any one prior. That said, none of the lessons came easily.

The year opened with me as a candidate for the Republican nomination for Congress in the 3rd District. While I can’t say the move was completely ill-advised, it was definitely not the right time for me. Not to mention the point that, at many different times during the year, things happened that showed me that it wasn’t my time. Each of those scenarios opened another door that, should I decided to pursue something on the level of a congressional run again, will better prepare me.So the political aspirations were put to the side, and life began for me as a student. I was surprised by the number of people who thought I was going for my master’s or something. Nope…I’m still an undergrad student. It’s been fun, and I’ve done well (though my grades fell off this past semester!). Plus, in working at my school’s veterans’ office, I’ve rediscovered my passion for helping those who I share the uniform with…as well as bringing all my knowledge and experience to the table for my students and my college.

While I put my political dreams to the side, my involvement didn’t end. You may have heard me on the radio, or read about me in a newspaper. Never would I have imagined that someone like me would have gotten all the exposure I did this year, be it positive or negative. Whether speaking in support of the Tea Party movement or just as a messenger of conservatism in general, I’m thankful for the opportunities that came my way, and hope that if minds weren’t changed outright, there was at least something new to consider.

Now, the not-so-great stuff.

Most everyone who knows me knows about my dad’s passing this year, so I’m not going to dwell on that. Without going into too much detail on things before and after that moment, I’ll say that my dad’s death further depressed me. I’m better now, to be sure. But if there’s any extra prayers floating around, I’ll take them…because no matter what the world sees, some days are still a struggle.

So what’s to come in 2011?

One thing I’ve learned in 2010 is that people are content to have me as their mouthpiece as long as I’m toeing their line…but the minute I start to speak about my reality and the things that are important to me, the level of “support” gets awfully low. Some people seem to think I’m an on/off switch that can be flipped when needed. And it’s become rather disappointing to see groups I helped get started go in directions that are completely different from what I thought they were intended.

So, in 2011, I’m stepping out of the spotlight. I’ll still be writing, because it’s my outlet (and not just homework assignments, either!). But in many aspects, I’ll be dialing it back a bit. I’m not going to completely disappear-there’s a rather large undertaking at school coming in early ’11, and there’s some friends of mine that I want to help do well-but I won’t be as publicly out there as I was this year. If I’ve taken nothing else from this year, I’ve learned that I need to continue building my own identity, and tie it to my long term goals without allowing it to be shifted by the limited goals of others. 

So that’s where 2011 will begin. Through the grace of God and the support of my family and true friends, I’ve emerged wiser for my struggles. This year has been a long-and occasional painful-journey in the evolution of me, but I’m looking forward to what the new year has to bring.

And as I always say…bring on whatever’s next.




Written by Coby Dillard

December 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm

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